My job as a parent is to teach my toddler how the world works. I make sure she knows that ovens are hot, snow is cold and it’s always nice to share – especially chocolate, with your mummy.
But despite my best efforts, a lot of what my E is learning as a toddler seems to run counter to real life. Here are some of the unrealistic expectations I think we’re setting for her:
1. Every time someone visits, they bring you a gift.
2. Whenever you do something new, people applaud.
3. Your poops are a cause for celebration.
4. Mispronouncing a word is adorable.
5. Your singing voice is perfection and people want you to sing more!
6. Eating with your hands, eating under the table, eating while running – all fine! Everyone’s just happy you’re getting your nutritional needs met.
7. Clothing is optional.
8. When you get tired, a large person airlifts you and all your belongings to your destination.
9. The paparazzi follows your every move.
I hope E wont be too disappointed in twenty years time when none of this then applies!