The last few days, I’ve been in a weird head space. And I really can’t pinpoint why.
I think, sometimes, there are too many things to do. Always so many things that need doing. Every now and then, that weight of expectation becomes unbearable. We carry it and carry it and then, there comes the day that it sits so heavily on our shoulders that we start to buckle.
Today, my knees were ready to give out.
But J wanted to play. E was at school and J just wanted some mummy time. So I put aside my list of things to do and all my stresses to one side.
We started off with Duplo, building all sorts of things. Then cars, trains and puzzles. We then went up stairs and played and J jumped on his sisters bed like it was a trampoline. We both laughed as I lifted him high to the ceiling and swung him around. And when we were tired, we lay side by side and on the bed. I could see out of the window and It was a beautiful day.
We looked out of the window and we saw birds in the tree’s and insects on the conservatory roof. The intricate web of the spiders making their home on the window ledge. An aeroplane flying through the clouds in the sky. As I pointed all these things out J t tried to copy the words that I was saying.
At that moment I saw the biggest smile on his innocent looking face. For those few moments there was no whining, no shouting. Just happiness.
“I love you, J” I said.
He smiled and replied, “Ahhh cuddle.”
He then snuggled against me. Gave me one of his amazing cuddle’s.
And in that moment, I was light as a feather.
Cuddle’s and fun with J is the best kind of therapy, when things are getting me down.