With parenthood, I’ve found myself to be in several situations where I have to stretch the truth to really get the point across. E getting too smart to fall for most of it but I will still use them on both the children as long as I can,
Your teeth will fall out – So, your teeth can fall out if you don’t take care of them obviously. However I make it sound more urgent. When sweet stuff has been eaten and I am telling them that we have to clean their teeth really well or their teeth will fall out.
Yes, I love your singing – My daughter can sing but there are occasions when it’s a form of torture and I think make it stop while putting my finger in my ear. Then she’ll ask me if she liked her song I simply reply ‘yes sweetie, it was beautiful’.
I don’t have anything in my mouth. Why would you think that? – When I just have to sneak that Jaffa cake or have a bite of chocolate, the kids seem to appear and E frequently asks what I’m eating. With a full mouth trying to chew quietly I say nothing. I don’t really get away with this very often.
You need to get in bed early because it’s been a long day – Okay, while that is true, my reasoning behind it is oh my god, if these kids aren’t in bed soon, I will lose my damn mind because this day has been never ending and I’m exhausted.
You need to go outside and play. Get some fresh air – Again, that’s true enough but my intentions are because A. I just want to be left alone. B. I’m would really like to eat some chocolate in peace without sharing or C. I want to go to the bathroom alone.
There are many more little white lies I have told and more I probably will. Does this make me a bad parent? Maybe… But at the end of the day sometimes I need some sanity. Now let me go find some chocolate to eat whilst the little darlings are in bed!