If you are a mum of young children, you know this universal truth:
There’s no such thing as a toilet break.
The notion that one could, in reality, obtain 60 seconds of uninterrupted private time is, in and of itself, preposterous. This is due to several factors:
- Small children don’t really get that “privacy” thing.
- If they do get it, they totally don’t care.
- If they do care, it’s only in regards to other people, because it’s inconceivable that mummy would ever want to be separated from them.
- Weeing is super cool. Especially to the ones still in nappies or have just being toilet trained. The magical porcelain machine that makes the cool whirring sound is even cooler, and by being in the bathroom every time it’s used, you gain inspiration for the myriad of things that can be flushed down said machine
But there is another reason that Mum’s don’t get toilet breaks:
We know better.
Most of us mummies know that in the blink of an eye, or the flush of a toilet, a level of destruction comparable to Chernobyl can be released with fury in nearly every room in the house.
Only yesterday I went up to use the toilet when E then suddenly decided she wanted a wee, all hell let loose that I was using the toilet before her. How can one simple act cue screaming and crying? Her actions resulted in her being sent to her bedroom, after weeing of course! To which she then pulled out all of her teddy bears and threw them everywhere. I really do not and never will understand where that rage came from.
E’s latest toilet fascination is the bubbles! When I have bleached and cleaned the toilet, bubbles appear! She then insists that she has to wee on the bubbles to make them go away and then demanding more bubble! The toilet fascination is one I will never fully understand.
But until I do can I please wee in peace and quiet?!
