Why it’s ok to be anti-social

Before I had children I used to put a lot of time and effort into friendships.

Stupidly, I also trusted a lot of people. In hindsight they weren’t really my friends, they just didn’t have the decency to be honest with me.

I have encountered the one-sided friendship, you know when you persist and make an effort. It reaches the point however when you wonder what you have done to upset them. I had a really good friend who went a little odd and then it turned into the one-sided friendship.

I think it’s a bit of an ego thing. you wonder why they don’t like you and you start to question what’s wrong with you. The truth is there isn’t anything wrong with you.

These people are simply not meant to be part of your tribe. Over time you realise this and life gets a lot easier because you realise your worth is not determined by what other people think of you.

Then kids come along and your priorities change. Being social ranks up there with changing dirty nappies!

 

anti-social

 

Just because you’re not out every weekend and posting for photos of your great night out. It doesn’t mean you’re a social outcast or boring.

I’m the least anti-social person I know. If you’ve met me you will know I’m friendly, outgoing and up for pretty much anything. These days however, I am very selective who I spend my downtime with.

Life is better when you realise you don’t need friends to validate your worth. Other people are great, some however in small doses.

I just don’t have the head space to tolerate drama, stupidity and fake people and I’m so happy that I have come to realise this.

Getting older does rock, you become so aware of yourself and those around you. You no longer feel the need to make certain people see or talk to you in a room. I no longer need to tolerate certain people or be bothered when someone blanks or avoids me.

Some friends live a long way away, such as people I met at University. These people are more like acquaintances now, but its nice when I do see them.

I have my family, a little circle of friends and that’s all I need. When you get to this point you also attract similar and make lasting friendships form

I’m paddling my own canoe right now, I make my own choices and It really suits me. And I now know that being anti-social sometimes is perfectly acceptable.

 

 

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2 Comments

  1. June 18, 2018 / 9:30 am

    I love this post, it is so true. I’ve never been one to have millions of friends as making friends does not come easy for me. I prefer a tiny handful of true friends, there’s far too much drama with a big group of mates and I hate the ones who get cross if you need to cancel plans because of your children.

  2. June 19, 2018 / 10:52 am

    This is so refreshing to read and so honest. I totally agree with what you have said! I too, as I get older realise that it is ok to step back from people that aren’t helpful or aren’t good for you! Real friends will be there through the highs and lows and will respect that sometimes you just need some ME time. Great post!

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