Hi, my name is Lynsey and I am a imperfect mum. My children are exceptional young people and they are extremely intelligent. I have taught them to be strong and aware of their feelings and to consider the environment and other people.
People often make comment about what a good job I am doing. I give a lot to other people and I am a great friend.
It has to be said i am a deep feeling individual and sometimes life gets the better of me. Sometimes I am super happy and have a loads of energy. I have been known for me to laugh at inappropriate things, sometimes my children.
I have sworn before and my kids have copied me. Bribed them once or twice or two hundred times and I have used the Television so I could have a break in the toilet to look at my phone and have some time out.
I have hit my kids heads on walls, with my elbows and on the car door while trying to put them in their car seat. I have had to leave the room to take a breath because I couldn’t settle my children and I didn’t know what to do.
Sometimes, I am so tired that I cry and looking at the state of my house makes it worse. Sometimes I don’t get everything achieved that I want to get achieved.
Did I tell you that I also very rarely look spectacular and my hair is often out of place? Sometimes i am just a mess.
My first child has more photos than my second child. My children tantrum in public and make a mess with their food. They can be space invaders and not realise that they are annoying other people. Or maybe that’s just me.
I am an imperfect mother. Some days I am a better mum than I am on other days. Other days I make mistakes. Sometimes I make consecutive mistakes on consecutive days. I am also a damn well great mum, I am perfect to my children.
THE PRESSURE TO BE PERFECT IS NOT REAL
There is just so much pressure to be that perfect mum, raising the perfect kids” a mum friend said to me “My kids wanted Weetbix for dinner the other night, so I gave it to them”, . “I also find myself constantly excusing the state of my house to people that come to see me and not my house”.
We are confident women, we know that this is unnecessary, so why do we do it?
You all know what I am talking about. We have all felt the need to be the perfect mum. You have all had moments when you have made a mistake in public or your kids act out and you look around to check for the piercing judgemental looks to be thrown in your direction.
Not to mention that the Perfect Parent Facebook syndrome can feel confronting and at the very least, downright rudely pervasive at times.
So why is it so important that we drop the shame and be okay with being perfectly imperfect?
YOU ARE YOUR CHILDREN’S BENCHMARK FOR REALITY, A POSITIVE SELF-ESTEEM AND WHAT IT MEANS TO BE HUMAN
Our kids are now in a world where ‘real life’ is a hard reality to find. Social media allows people to choose certain aspects of their life, publications depict a false image of what we should and shouldn’t do, look like, feel, behave.
And the fact of the matter is that many of our children will turn to TV, magazines, the internet and social media as evidence about attractiveness, a source of inspiration, and to look at how other people live their lives.
It isn’t only body image that we need to be real about. Media is an almost inescapable shaper of all aspects of our culture and expectation.
Why is is good to be imperfect
Being a perfectly imperfect mum is essential for your children to see what life is really like. It shows them what bodies normally look like. They see that sometimes we cry, sometimes we snort when we laugh, it shows them REAL.
You can show them that their beauty and worth isn’t measured by the number of likes or the amount of comments that they get from a photo. Prove to them that photoshopping does not truly represent a healthy body.
You can model healthy relationships with friends and show to them that the quality of a friendship circle is measured by the value of interactions, love, care, and respect given; not the number of followers that you have.
Being perfectly imperfect, being real, helps to build foundations for a positive self-esteem, self-love, and self-worth.
So perfectly imperfect mum’s, go ahead. Cry when you need to, take a rest when you need to, show your children your budget and how you are managing your money, and then make the very significant and profound comment to your child “you don’t see people doing that on social media, or on the T.V. because it isn’t real life”.
3 Reasons why it is fine to be an imperfect mum
1. YOU TEACH YOUR KIDS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AND RESILIENCE
Sometimes in life, things just don’t go to plan. However at times, we are flawlessly flawed. I am not being a sad-sack, I am being a logician.
The great thing about this is that you get to show your kids what to do at these times and teach them the best actions to take.
They get to learn how to deal with unhealthy people in a way that is healthy and benefits them. They get to learn that emotions aren’t bad, emotions which are a part of the human experience.
Children get to see how to set goals and take actions in order to achieve what they want in life.
They get to learn that failure sometimes happens, and it can be used to learn and grow from. You get to show them how to get back up when they are knocked down and be a kick arse, perfectly imperfect person just like their mummy.
