Some nights as I fall asleep I think back to what happened during the day. Occasionally I feel twangs of guilt about things I’ve said or done.
You see I’m a naturally impatient person. I can’t stand slow things, people or laziness. I like things to be done straight away.
Point is, when it’s quiet at night and my kids are sleeping soundly, I reflect on the day. I then realise that some days I have little patience.
This has come as a bit of a shock to me. You see I thought once one of my kids grew to the age where they could toilet, dress and generally look after their basic life functions, that my patience level would increase.
Sadly no. I’m a parent with no patience because by nature I am generally impatient. I try not to be and I frequently tell myself just go with the flow. Not everything has to be done quickly.
I’m sure a shrink would have a field day with me. They would suggest all manners of solutions to help me slow down, chill out and generally grow some patience.
However, there are some positive things to being impatient by nature I’m sure, just don’t ask me what they are.
As for parenting when you’re impatient you end up just being a craggy pants parent. I always seem to be on my kids’ case.
In saying that, I’m usually on their case for good reason, not just for the heck of it.
Like this morning, I served J Cornflakes. He didn’t want to come and eat breakfast when we did so I told him no breakfast. Tears. So I ended up giving him breakfast after everyone else. This frustrated me know end.
And because I’m committed to ensuring my kids have breakfast in the morning. I told him because of his refusals he then had to eat the whole bowl with no arguments and quickly. We had to leave for the school run very soon after.
(Quite obviously I am going against all my own advice and am sweating the small stuff today)
It’s so frustrating being a parent when your default setting is impatience. I’d almost say it’s a curse
Sure they are times when I am too tired or completely overwhelmed and just give up. My impatience turns to ‘who cares what they do as long as they aren’t hurting me or themselves’.
I love these moments, everything is calm. My poor kids, they must think I’m quite a twat of a parent at times.
Don’t get me wrong I’m not always impatient. I mean look at these two. The love I have for them is immense. It’s just sometimes they really drive me crazy. But isn’t that what kids do? I live for the weekends as we can be on the go slow and I enjoy every minuet of family time.
But it’s just who I am and I think you’re either an incredibly patient person, eg a teacher. Or you are someone like me. Who lives and breathes deadlines and has the patience of a piece of a sand.