We often refer to change as a negative thing. We call people change resistant, change averse. People criticise friends and family with statements such as “You’ve changed”. People fear and fight change on a daily basis. Doing things as simple as sticking to a routine. Whether it is ordering the same coffee or the usual sandwich from the familiar cafe, cooking the same meals,to things as complicated as staying in a job or a relationship that we don’t enjoy. Simply because the thought of leaving is too daunting.
We’re forgetting something pivotal to the existence of human beings. Since the dawn of time, in order to survive as a race we’ve had to adapt. We’ve had to change. And our survival and growth alone is irrefutable proof that change is good for us. Yes, sometimes it’s dangerous, but on the most part, that border between “same old” and “new” is where we flourish. It’s where we discover things that we would never have known if not for stepping out of the comfort zone.
It feels like my life has been a series of rapid changes, big, life-altering changes. I’m a pragmatist so I tend to jump in both feet first taking no notice of the emotion attached to it. However, the problem with that is that the emotion eventually catches up to you, no matter how hard you fight it. Before you know it you’re hiding in a corner eating cake and ice cream hoping no one finds you because you just need 5 minutes alone with something that brings you joy… quiet, selfish joy.
How good is cake and ice cream? Or a hot, candle-lit bubble bath? Or a sunset stroll through the trees?
It was then that I realised that I’m yet to find a balance between the old and the new. I had slipped back into familiar, unhealthy patterns, so focused on jumping that I hadn’t stopped to remember the things that recharge my batteries. The things that I do out of pure selfishness, just for me. Some things you do just to pass the time, but others you do because they’re good for the soul. I only discovered these things when I had a few nights a week to myself and no idea what to do.
When I began to feel burnt out, exhausted and resentful, I had to stop and ask myself where it was coming from. The answer wasn’t my environment, it wasn’t always other people, it was coming from within. The only thing stopping me from doing the things that bring me joy was ME. It was a revelation when I told myself that I can still do those things, regardless of how much my life has changed. I’m allowed a time-out. I don’t need to be everything to everyone all of the time. Sometimes I need to be my own supporter, rather than my own worst enemy.
Some change is thrown at us like a curve ball and we just have to do the best we can. However, sometimes we have to choose to change, and that’s the kind that takes more work. What ever situation you are in, always take time to think about yourself and your needs.
