I was fourteen when I first starting having seizures. Before I was diagnosed with epilepsy I noticed that I had a weird tingling pain, almost like really painful pins and needles seconds before I would have a seizure. In time as my understanding grew and I realised this was an aura
I don’t think you can ever adequately describe an aura to someone who’s never had a seizure. It comes out of nowhere soft and floaty, like my body’s lifting, as though weightless. And yet, I can feel just enough to know that I’m tingling. Like little zaps of energy flitting across the surface of my skin , normally on my right arm and hand. The strange taste in the mouth.
Sometimes, I feel really hot and clammy, other times, I shake as though chilled. I never know which way I’ll feel, I just know my body is beyond my control. I try to focus on something thinking it will help. The frustration begins. Sometimes, the auras go away after some deep breathing and a private pep talk. Yet, in other instances, my body is already floating too high, the energy even more furious, the tingling working itself into a frenzy, it feels painful, In my head I shout out, but nobody can hear me. My eyes start to tick side to side, faster and faster, I lose focus, my body tenses.. then I’m gone.
I like that I lose consciousness then I don’t have to see the horror on my loved ones faces or the shock and disgust on some stranger’s. I don’t see judgment and I know nothing about my head thrashing, violent spasms, gurgling breathing, jaw-chomping episodes. Witnessing a person have a seizure isn’t nice. I feel sorry for the person that is with me as they are frequently as embarrassed as I am.
As with everyone who has epilepsy, there is so much more than just the seizure. So many things that occur. The aura is only the tip of the iceberg.
Take a look at 6 Things you Can Learn From Someone Who Lives With Epilepsy post to get find our a little bit more.
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